Tag Archives: sex

Hunter Moore is Bringing Sexty Back

5 Dec

hmf

Though this really has nothing to do with my life in Australia, travel, or music, my year-old post on Is Anyone Up?, the website where vindictive exes anonymously submit nude pictures of their former lovers along with a link to their Facebook or Twitter account, is still one of my top-searched entries and I feel I owe it to my readers to do a follow-up.

The now-infamous site shut down after various legal entanglements led founder Hunter Moore to sell the domain to Bullyville.com. In an agreement with Bullyville, all previous content would be destroyed and Moore, addressing the everyday people featured on his site said, “Everything is completely wiped. You’re good.”

But the “professional life-ruiner,” as he calls himself, lied.  Just when his former stars and starlets thought their pornographic careers were over, Moore announced the launch of HunterMoore.Tv.  Not only does he plan to repost the archived content of ‘band whores,’ soccer moms having midlife crises, and ‘gnargoyles’ but he added another feature to the submission process where users can include addresses of the unwitting people, which are then added to maps.

Moore clearly is not fazed by his FBI investigation earlier this year and claims that he’s exempt from liability because all content is user-submitted. On his new site, the 26-year-old who still lives at home, stated:

statement

On the homepage of the old isanyoneup.com, which redirects to Bullyville.com, is this statement:

“Here at BullyVille, we’ve decided to turn this darkness into light.  We’ll soon be launching a brand new site for isanyoneup.com that not only shows the history and eventual dismantling of this disturbing website, but also brings valuable information to people who have been wronged by similar behavior.  We are also putting together a class action lawsuit against Hunter, on behalf of all the victims from Isanyoneup or any other social media that he used to directly harass and intimidate people.  We’re doing this mostly for the completely powerless, underage women who were verbally harassed after Hunter posted their completely naked, unedited photos on his site.”

Only time will tell how long HunterMoore.Tv will survive before lawsuits, stalking claims (thanks to the site’s new maps feature), and further FBI investigations will dethrone the “revenge-porn” king. My bet is this is just the beginning of Moore’s empire. I suggest you think twice before sending those racy sexts to your new lover because you never know who will end up with them. And remember, the internet is infinite. You can’t just rip up the photo and pretend it never happened.

Hold on, I’ve got to get ready for my Skype date…

The Downside of Solo-Female Traveling

12 Mar

Self-timers are your best friend when traveling alone.

Traveling alone has been the one of the most liberating, eye-opening, beautiful experiences I’ve ever had and I think any woman who is considering it, should do it. I do what I want, when I want. I have no one to answer to, no one to oblige and the possibilities are endless. I learn more about myself with each city I visit, person I meet and adventure I have. I’m stronger, more self-assured, and I’m proud of myself for taking the leap and following my dreams even though I had lingering fears.

But there is a downside – there always is. Traveling alone as a female carries it’s own dangers. We’re more vulnerable to things men don’t have to think twice about and we’ve got to keep one eye open in every situation.

I never know if a man is offering to show me around or inviting me to dinner because he wants to show me his city, have some company, or if he’s just trying to get into my pants. And it seems men are the ones who take the most interest in me. Sure, there are other female travelers but we’re outnumbered.

Men want to take me for motorbike rides outside the city and show me things I wouldn’t have known about on my own. They want me to join them for dinner, take me to islands I’ve hardly heard of and show me why I should consider moving to their part of the world.

I live by the rule of accept every invitation, spend as much time with locals as you can and when possible, become a fly on the wall to observe their daily lives. But I keep running in to situations where I think the people (okay, men) I’ve met just want to be my friend only to find out that they’ve had ulterior motives all along or our “bonding,” what I see as moments where our friendship deepens, becomes their ‘in’, their moment to make a move. A few days, hours, minutes into our shared time together and the relationship turns. They start inching closer, complimenting me, turning the conversation to something sexual, or just go in for the kill.

I keep asking myself if I’m doing something wrong. Am I bringing this on myself? Am I dressed too provocatively? Am I allowing the conversation to go this direction? Have I mislead them?

In some cases I can see where guys might get the wrong idea. We’ll have dinner on the beach or go for a long walk together. I’m friendly, I laugh at their jokes, smile often and tell them how grateful I am that I met them. But that’s it.

I’ll mention my boyfriend, talk about how I miss him and how it’s hard on us to do the long-distance thing… I’ll even tell them how I’ve met many other guys on this trip who put the move on me when I thought we were just friends… but it doesn’t matter

Men and women can’t be friends. They’ll always hope for more. One of you will, at least. When you’re thinking he’s kind, he’s wondering what you look like naked. I never thought it was that black and white and when the men in my life tell me, “men don’t have friends that are girls, they have girls they haven’t fucked yet,” I vehemently protest that that is too black and white, that I’ve had platonic relationships with guys for years and that it isn’t the case with everyone.

But when you’re traveling alone your senses are heightened. Your awareness isn’t marred by the dullness of everyday life and ordinary things are viewed under your traveler’s microscope. You can’t ignore what’s happening in front of you, especially when it’s a running theme.

Local men ask me if all American girls are open about sex and if we’re as “free” as what they see in movies. And if you tell them they’re not they assume that you are, because after all you’re traveling halfway around the world by yourself and you come from a culture that allows women to embrace their independence and sexuality.

I’m tired of things turning this way. I’m tired of men taking advantage of my worldview that everyone is ultimately kind and coming from a good place. I’m not naïve, I just choose to see things this way and for the most part it has worked in my favor – opening doors and opportunities that I wouldn’t have had had I been skeptical of each man I met.

But it’s getting old.

My second day in Ho Chi Minh city, formerly known as Saigon, I took a walk after lunch and found myself in the middle of a park. I was the only white person there and people took notice and stared. I smiled and kept sitting, taking in the experience. An older man, possibly in his late 60s or early 70s, walked by me and did a double take. (I didn’t think much of it. Everyone was doing that.) But then he came back about five minutes later and asked me where I was from, how long I’d been traveling, what did I think of the city… Another series of questions I’d been familiar with.

He told me he was a physics professor at the university and that he’d never met an American girl. He asked if he could sit next to me and of course I said yes. His sweet presence and excitement about practicing his English made me feel honored to be his first American friend. He asked if I’d like to get a drink after talking for about ten minutes. I wasn’t sure what to think, but not wanting to turn down an invitation and having nothing better to do I said sure.

We found a place within the park and he bought me a coconut. He asked me about my family, my boyfriend, and life in America. Later he asked if I would join him for dinner. I already had plans to meet someone for dinner but when I saw the look on his face after telling him this, I decided to cancel.

He took me to a very famous restaurant in HCM. It was packed and I was the only foreigner there. The food was fantastic and the conversation was light but toward the end of our dinner, our very platonic dinner, he told me I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, that he loved my hair and my eyes, and that he could “contemplate my face forever.” He said he loved me. He said he’d never forget me. I laughed it off and started planning my escape route. He asked if I would come back to his apartment and listen to music with him, knowing that I write about music for a living. I told him I was meeting a friend later and thanked him for the offer.

Does he look like a threat?

He drove me home and kept asking when he’d see me again, saying a few more times that he loved me. I felt uncomfortable. I felt sad. Weeks of having guys my age push for more than my friendship had jaded me and I was excited to have the company of a man I saw as my Vietnamese grandfather, and to have a night that I saw as an innocent exchange between two people wanting to learn more about the others’ culture.

He wanted to take me directly to my hostel but I had him drop me off at a streetlight a few blocks away. He mentioned earlier that he could try to find me tomorrow since I didn’t have a phone and he didn’t have email. I didn’t want to take the chance.

As I hopped off, he turned around to face me and asked for a kiss. I laughed, sweetly, and said, “Thank you so much for the evening. I’ll see you!” And that was that.

These instances have left me disenchanted with the idea that there are men out there that are genuine – that are nice for the sake of being nice and aren’t expecting anything in return. Now, I question every man’s intentions. I feel them out a little longer before I accept their invitations. This awful truth saddens me, as I feel the true nature of traveling is being spontaneous and embracing moments like going to dinner with a Vietnamese physics professor because he wants to practice his English.

My advice for other free-spirited, solo-female travelers out there is to go with your gut and get out of situations when they start to get sticky. Don’t live in fear or hide behind what-ifs because it doesn’t always turn out this way, but beware that it can and a lot of the time, will.

Take care of yourself. Be mindful of what you talk about. Don’t dress too provocatively or act in a way that will give anyone the wrong idea. Talk about a boyfriend that doesn’t exist and most importantly, use your head.

It’s a different realm that we women live in but it doesn’t mean we can’t travel alone. Be smart, be aware and don’t let it ruin your trip.

Hostel Etiquette: A Guide

8 Mar

After spending the last seven weeks in dorm rooms I feel it’s necessary for me to write this post. It seems some veteran travelers already have this down and some newbies know the unspoken rules instinctively, but the others, well … the others give hostels a bad name and can ruin everyone’s experience.

Rule #1: Be aware of when people are sleeping.

If it’s before 8 a.m. and people are still asleep, take your conversation outside. If you have to talk, whisper. You don’t need to tip toe around but staying conscious of how much noise you’re making goes a long way.

Rule #2: Prepare before you leave the hostel. 

If you know you won’t head back until well after everyone else is asleep, lay your pajamas and toothbrush out on your bed before you leave. Instead of having to rummage through your bag in the dark (waking everyone up as you do so) all your things will be waiting for you.

The same applies if you plan on having an early morning. Prepare your bag the night before and lay out a change of clothes. It will save you time and you’ll be less likely to receive death glares once you return.

Rule #3: Don’t have sex in the dorm room. 

I know it’s tempting and I know you think everyone is asleep, but they’re not or they won’t be for much longer. Your innocent romp will end up making everyone else in the room feel extremely uncomfortable. Keep in mind that not everyone is as sexually open as you are and you could be traumatizing someone.

I had a friend who was about to get to up to pee in the middle of the night when two people starting going at. She felt so awkward about the situation that she decided to lie in bed until they finished and then couldn’t get back to sleep after the whole ordeal was over.

Get creative and take it outside or head to the bathroom. It’s just as exciting.

Rule #4: Keep your space clean.

Don’t unpack your whole bag or leave your stuff everywhere like a bomb went off. Remember: this is isn’t only your room and people on the top bunks need floor space too. You’re not entitled to more just because you have more things.

Rule #5: Don’t spend all your time in the hostel. 

This isn’t so much a rule as it is a suggestion. Don’t have every meal at your hostel or spend all day sitting at the computers. Get out there! See some things! Make some friends and discover the ‘real’ culture of a place. You didn’t travel this whole way to do the same things you can do back home, did you?

Is Anyone Up?

10 Nov

Is Anyone Up is a website where people can avenge ex-lovers by submitting sexts they’ve recieved from them, and then founder Hunter Moore will post the pictures for the world to see. The posts start with a screen shot of the person’s Facebook page (so anyone can find them) and sometimes a defaming story about what they’ve done to deserve the submission. Below that are a few pictures of the person fully clothed, but if you keep scrolling… BAM!!!: full nudes, compromising photos and pictures of people you wish would never get naked again.

The whole concept is awful really, not to mention sad – considering the majority of the people on there entrusted these photos with someone they didn’t think would end up sharing them on a site where they will be “put on blast” and judged for every hair out of place or pound they need to lose. But as Moore said in one post, the site was made “so everyone can enjoy these peoples’ mistakes for generations to come.”

Moore and some dude in one of the original reaction photos.

Moore calls himself a “professional life ruiner” and came up with the term ‘gnargoyle’ – which I’ll let you figure out. The site’s slogan is “are you textually active?” and mostly features pictures of hipsters covered in tattoos with the occassional recently divorced, new-to-the-dating-scene mom. Categories include: herps confirmed, today’s band whore, gay or straight?, and would or would not? But you can also browse by girls, guys, band, or city, or you can type in the unlucky person’s name in the search bar.

There’s even a store to buy merch and the site has become such a hit that hipsters everywhere are getting the twitter hashtag for the site, #NBHNC (no butthole, no care), tattooed amongst the plethora of their other random, meaningless tattoos.

But I really can’t hate on it too much because I found myself oddly mesmerized by the site. I discovered it a few weeks ago when some of my friends and I were sitting around my kitchen table, drinking coffee after a Halloween party I’d had the night before. They asked me if I’d ever heard of it and then told me that one of our friends was on it. As we looked him up, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but there he was – in all his naked glory. I was shocked, I was blushing and I knew I’d never look him the same way again. And the best part is that he owns it and doesn’t mind being on there at all. It even got him laid, apparently.

We sat there that Sunday morning typing in the names of people we all knew (and then typed in our own to make sure there wasn’t a gnargoyle amongst us.) One of my friends warned us that the first time he found the site he spent hours on it, and that day, after the guys left, my best friend Jessica and I spent another hour on it – cracking up, o0-ing and awing and scrunching our faces in disgust. The site is oddly compelling and somehow leaves you feeling insecure about your body while at the same time wanting to strut what you’ve got.

The best part of the website however, are the reactions under the photos. I found myself scrolling through the nudes just to see what ridiculous photo or GIF would be paired with it. They’re so good that Jessica and I compiled some of our favorite reactions for your viewing pleasure.

Just picture that babe you’ve been lurking on Facebook trying to entice you as she stands in front of a mirror, naked and holding her phone, or picture a gnargoyle you wish had the same insecurity issues you do… Enjoy!

Peaches @ Freak City

9 Sep

Peaches made her grand entrance to the DJ Extravaganza Festival at Freak City in Hollywood dressed in a nude body suit adorned with a coat of breasts – complete with dark areolas and Barbie doll heads for nipples.

The notorious ‘glam-shock’ headliner is known for her sexually explicit lyrics and the bulbous growths on her shoulders were tame in comparison to her Fatherfucker,Impeach My Bush, and I Feel Cream album titles.

Though the crowd had already been dancing to the electro-filled sets of BLOK, Tearist, Cherie Lily, and Vice Cooler for just under two hours, they summoned their remaining energy and rocked even harder when Peaches took the stage.

The 44-year-old performer, whose real name is Merrill Beth Nisker, teased her fans throughout the show by alternating performances of her cult-like hits such as “Boys Wanna Be Her” and “Talk to Me” with DJ sets– a move that may have disappointed her die-hard fans.

Consequently, Peaches relied heavily on outlandish gimmicks and her dancers to supplement the action while she tended to her turntables. After several wardrobe changes, one of the dancers climbed atop the table onstage and took a chainsaw to her metal chastity belt, sending sparks flying everywhere while Peaches cheered in the background.

When she did leave the DJ table, she’d shake up a bottle of champagne and douse the audience before taking a few swigs out of the bottle. At one point, she pulled a guy dressed in an Alien costume, from the Alien vs. Predator movies, onstage, to serenade him and make out with his mask.

It was a night filled with absurdity, sex, and rock n’ roll, and Freak City couldn’t have been a more perfect venue. It’s one of those places that instantly transports you to a different state of mind with its neon graffiti, dark corridors, and David Bowie-meets-Fresh Prince vibe.

In the early morning hours the DJ Extravaganza Festival came to its close, but the dance party and debauchery that ensued throughout the night would have made the Club Kids of the 90s proud. The night culminated with Peaches last song, “Fuck The Pain Away” and everyone belted out its iconic line: “suckin’ on my titties like you wantin’ me, callin’ me all the time…” and beaming smiles were seen all around.

If you didn’t leave the show panting, covered in cigarette smoke, sweat, or champagne then something was seriously wrong with you. Peaches, along with the rock gods, would have been disappointed.

(Originally published in  OC Music Magazine)

Messages on the Wall

8 Dec

You pass it every day without so much as a fleeting thought. It covers freeway passes, it is carved into desks and trees and it lines the walls of bathroom stalls.

Graffiti has become so ubiquitous that its intent is routinely overlooked and its words are seldom viewed as anything more than the defacement of property by careless delinquents. But what are the stories behind these anonymous scribes? Are these words merely written for cheap thrills or is there a deeper expression beyond the surface?

Across Cal State Fullerton’s campus, female students are hiding behind the cloak of anonymity and tagging the walls of the women’s restrooms. The stalls proclaim: “don’t be afraid,” “legalize weed November 2010,” “remember you’re beautiful without him or her” and “good luck on your tests!”

Girls pose the questions: “is casual sex with friends OK at all?”, “how do you go from being boyfriend and girlfriend to just friends?” and “why are guys so dumb?” with a list of reasons from several different participants. One student writes, “if I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I love you” and another confesses, “having depression has ruined me but in some ways, it’s saved me too. I know who I am now.”

“I just have to stop and read it sometimes because it’s interesting. I think it’s way easier to write on a bathroom wall than to go up to someone’s face and talk about it. That’s why this generation is so addicted to Facebook and all the other social networking sites. They don’t know how to have interpersonal communication. There’s a complete lack of face-to-face (interaction),” said Ashley Pillabough, an English major at CSUF.

Anthropology major Breana Cumberland enjoys reading the graffiti and is disappointed when the conversations are painted over. She worries about the people who ask for personal advice. “I feel like they don’t have anyone who they can go to, to talk to. It sucks when people write ‘you’re stupid’ or ‘you’re a bitch.’ It’s like really? Support! Even if it’s from a bathroom wall,” Cumberland said.


However, not all students are as receptive to the graffiti as Pillabough and Cumberland. Freshman Michelle Ruiz said, “I don’t think it’s right. It’s just a waste of time. They’re asking for advice on a bathroom wall. There are things here at school you can go to to get help where you don’t have to vandalize the school.”

What Ruiz refers to are the eight individual counseling sessions that each CSUF student is allotted per academic year. The service is covered by the student health fee but the sessions are remarkably underutilized. According to the Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) appointment statistics, of the 68,873 students enrolled at CSUF during the 2009-10 academic year, only 1,162 students visited a counselor using an average of six sessions.

Students may opt for anonymous disclosure rather than seek counseling due to shyness or the lack of a support system but Sapna Chopra, a professor in the master’s program of counseling, believes that it is society’s perception of therapy that prevents people from reaching out.

“Over the past 10 years or so, there has been a real rise in the number of students with serious mental health issues, not just on our campus, but across the country. And sadly, there is still a great deal of shame and stigma for many people to seek help.”

Ya-Shu Liang, a licensed psychologist at the Counseling and Psychological Services (part of the Student Health and Counseling Center) said that the biggest issue she sees CSUF students for, is stress. She urges any student who is considering counseling to try it at least once. Coming here doesn’t mean you have a diagnosis. There are tons of people (who) will never seek help so coming here means that you’re brave enough to talk about it with somebody who might know a little more than your peers. It’s not like your friends and parents are not helpful; it’s the role that they have. They cannot help by having an opinion. They are not really impartial but what a counselor can do is be more objective.”

Nursing major Rachelle Ramiento proposes that the anonymous outpouring of emotions on the restroom walls is just another trend of our generation. Ongoing projects such as Post Secret, where people anonymously share their secrets on homemade postcards and send them to a designated P.O. box, and 1,000 journals, an experiment that attempts to follow 1,000 journals as they travel across the world and continuously change hands, have catapulted the phenomenon of anonymous self-disclosure to fame.

At a time when our means of communication are faster and more accessible than ever, it’s hard to understand how it has led to an emotional disconnection from our peers where, for some, anonymity seems like the only way to have their voices heard. In the 2010 Healthy Minds Survey, 9 percent of CSUF students admitted to seriously thinking about attempting suicide, a statistic higher than that of the number of students who visited CAPS.

Not everyone is comfortable seeing a counselor or sharing their problems with family and friends but anyone can hide behind a pen or a screen name without worrying about being associated with their message. Whether you see graffiti as vandalism or just another mode of expression, it is here to stay. Pay attention to its words and you just might find that there’s a stronger connection between you and your fellow students than you initially thought.

Originally published at The Daily Titan

More Pictures from Messages on the Wall

8 Dec


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